Darkest Shadow


It's Still My Fault

Posted by Andrea on August 19, 2011 at 3:30 AM

I was always incomplete
Never had chakra
Or even a full heart beat,
And to make it worse
I was the less important half.
Always having to fake a smile
Or force a laugh
Because this world is too sad.
I was the half to make everyone mad,
Since it was always my fault
The one who was unloved
While others chose to ignore.
But I am grateful for what I have
And wouldn’t wish for more
Since all wishing does
Is make everything crash and burn.
This is who I once was,
Until the one wish I had
Eventually came true.
I went into another world
I made friends, and met you.
A new life, a new home
But my other half was still there
Ready to make my life unfair
And break me like glass,
Just like she always has.
She is the rain on my parade
Because grief was all she made.
And now she will take you away,
But no, as time went on
More than just my life
Was going wrong.
Revenge began to take you over
As power began to call.
And sure enough, you left us all,
Right when I realized how I feel.
This was one of those rare moments
That my emotions were real,
I couldn’t bear the pain of the bruises and dents
Or act as if I was fine
So I began to cry.
And as my other half comforted me
We began to combine.
Next thing I know I’m opening my eyes,
Having trouble knowing who I am
But as I look through my exam
It is slightly different than usual,
Yet what shocks me the most
Is that my heart beat is normal.
All that remains of my other half
Is a streak of red hair
And some of her personality is still there.
I’m not her or even me
So who am I supposed to be?
There’s so much to figure out,
A lot on my mind.
I try to move on like everyone
Yet it’s still you I want to find.
I’m looking for serenity
But a part of me is still searching for infinity.
I can’t seem to forget,
I don’t even think I want to let go
But now I don’t even know
How to live my life anymore
Because I’m not sure where I belong.
Here I’m not making progress
But I need to get strong
And the only reason to stay is friends
Which is completely selfish.
So now I’m just like you
Leaving my home behind
Yet they’re just too blind,
They don’t even realize it.
The man I’m leaving with can’t be good.
But the story he told me
Made me realize that you’re an idiot
Because the person you seek to kill
Was only protecting you.
I can see how it’s too good to be true,
It sounds outrageous, insane.
I can’t tell you, even if I wanted to
I’ll just continue on being alone,
Being a small, little lab rat
And trying my best to hone
The little talent I have
Along with everything I’m gaining.
But the honor of training
Under someone so strong
Is making me turn heartless.
Day by day it takes a little more
Because I don’t have my friends like before.
Is he a bad influence?
Well, he did ask me to come along
But it all came down to my decision,
And in the end, it’s still my fault I chose wrong.

Categories: Poems

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